Father and Daughter Relationships

Father and daughter relationships are something that has been portrayed as nonexistent in the black community.  I am kind of an example of that.  I have very little memory of my dad being a constant in my life.  He only visited my house sometimes.  His relationship with my mother has always been strained, so that hasn't helped at all.  I've always accepted that he was just always away and never had any animosity towards him really.  I saw him sometimes, but he hasn't always been reliable.  I never really thought about how I felt about it.  I was just a kid.  Now that I'm about to a legal adult and heard more stories about him, I understand why he wasn't there.  His father was very abusive, so he have that father figure, so how could he give me something he didn't have?  I do have some resentment, but it didn't completely ruin my life.  I turned out pretty good considering all the bullshit I could've got caught up in.  Moving forward I want a better relationship with him, for me and for him because I kinda feel sorry for him.  That's my emotional, sentimental side talking, but I still have to protect my self.  Gotta love people from a distance sometimes.  I see some of my idiosyncrasies in him.  My mom always says I act like him when I get mad, but so the fuck what?  I know it's been hard on her to carry the load by herself, and it complicates things.  I see how it affects my brother and so many other sons with out a consistent father.  Sometimes I don't know how to feel.  Hopefully, I can figure this shit out.  Some day.

#father #daughter #relationships #dysfunctional